


It's So Hard To Say Goodbye When You're Not Leaving.

by zeewastaken



Series: Don't Come Home [1]
Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: -----, -------, Angst, Early Character Death, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, I keep hurting my babes, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Only RELEVANT relationships are tagged, Pining, Tags will change as the story progresses, Temporary Character Death, Unrequited! Brohm, Unrequited! Ohmtoonz, its gonna get good though i promise, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-01 15:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13298001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeewastaken/pseuds/zeewastaken
Summary: It has been two whole months since Evan, Bryce and Craig went missing after going to the E3 convention in Los Angeles and their disappearances left behind unanswered questions.Despite the copious amount of hardwork the search party has put into trying to make sense of their disappearance, there were no leads, no nothing. It was almost as if they were wiped from the face of the Earth.Needless to say, the case had turned cold and it's now up to the rest of the crew to persuade other search parties to look everywhere and for Delirious, Luke, Ryan and Tyler to find their 'friends'.------Title is from Emma Blackery's song "Don't Come Home."





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first time writing for this fandom and I am so happy to finally get to work with another fic!
> 
> Enjoy :)

_The moonlight crept in through the windows, the dim light allowing him to see the path in front of him. Blood ran down his face and he could feel a throbbing pain on his injured leg but that was the least of his worries right now._

_He made his way over to the staircase he somehow managed to spot even with his foggy vision and the dim lighting. He slowly limped his way down. If he remembered correctly, this should be where he was supposed to be headed; but at this point, he didn't know, he was just hoping for the best._

_It's not like he could do much with his bruised and beaten up body with his barely working senses and his broken limbs. He's done well enough and he knows that as soon as he defeats the final boss, he can pass away without any worries._

_"I guess I wasn't kidding when I told them I'd give my life up for 'em" he chuckled, feeling nostalgic albeit being nervous._

_After a few... seconds or minutes, he couldn't really tell, he reached the bottom of the steps and was met with a huge door with intricate designs on it._

_He was in the right place._

_He slowly pushed the door open, the hinges creaking creating an audible noise which echoed throughout the empty hallway. When his eyes adjusted to the light inside the huge room, he could see a figure seated on an office chair facing away from him._

_He pulled his gun out from his pocket._

_"Was this what you wanted?" He asked the figure._

_"Suffering is a prime in all of our lives! I don't get why you look so down Mr-" The figure halted her speech when she heard him cocking the gun._  
_She laughed hysterically, "There's a bomb inside of me and as soon as my heart stops, it will blow the entire place up."_

_He chuckled bitterly. "Think I don't know that?"_

_"Then why are you going to do this Mr I'm-going-to-save-everyone-elses-lives?"_

_"Because I'm going to."_

_The sound of a gunshot could be heard throughout the entire castle._

_It was followed by the sound of a deafening explosion._

_Embers crackling_

_And then **silence.**_

 


	2. Before The Search (Part 1: Gone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The disappearances affected all of the crew members badly.
> 
> Some more than others.

_It has been two whole months since Evan, Bryce and Craig went missing after going to the E3 convention in Los Angeles and their disappearances left behind unanswered questions. Despite the copius amount of hardwork the search party has put into trying to make sense of their disappearance, there were no leads, no nothing. It was almost as if they were wiped from the face of the Earth._

 

.....

 

Delirious shut his computer down after a long session of editing, scheduling and recording videos for his fans. Usually after a long day just like this one, he passes out as soon as his head hits the pillow and it's been at least two hours since he went to bed and all he did was toss and turn. It's been like this recently and he knows exactly why.

Three of his friends went missing and the domino effect it had on everyone really impacted the group that they liked to ironically call the "Banana Bus Crew". 

 

First it was Evan who went missing. The first day of the E3 convention had ended and when the second day rolled around, according to Tyler, he just texted them a short message saying **_"I'm sick. I'm going back home. Bye, Tyler."_** lackingany sort of details at all. Anyone who has texted Vanoss at least once before would be able to tell that the way he typed the message out didn't sound like the Canadian man at all; Jonathan would know this after all, he couldn't count on one hand the number of late night conversations that they've had, hell, he didn't think he could count it if he included his toes.

 

Without a doubt, Evan's disappearance affected everyone badly; no recording session was the same anymore. They all missed the Canadian's chill yet upbeat personality and out of all the people in the group, he was truly the only person Jon could confide his deepest secrets to without the fear of getting judged.

 

Next it was Bryce who was streaming just before no one's ever heard from him ever again. Ohm was worried and anxious about the sudden disappearance but Delirious and Cartoonz didn't think much of Bryce's unexplained departure at first because, even though Bryce always made sure to tell his friends where he's going before he disappears, both of them knew that the blonde man needed a well deserved break. 

 

But this well deserved break didn't seem like it anymore when Bryce had disappeared for three days without a word and videos from his channel stopped going up.

 

"What the fuck is going on?" Luke sighed in disbelief during a call, "Where did Bryce go?"

 

Ohm chuckled bitterly, "Look who's worried now. Can't believe you told me to stop thinking about Bryce."

 

"Yeah well-" Before Luke could defend himself, unbeknownst to them Jonathan apparently joined the call in time just to hear their small argument and interrupted Luke before he could say anything that could potentially make things worse.

 

"Can we cut it out?" Jon's voice held no vibrance or life to it like it usually does and this worried both Ohm and Cartoonz, "Apparently Vanoss and Mini are gone too."

 

Ryan's eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat. Coincidence? He didn't feel like it was. "How's Tyler?" He asked hesitantly and Jon did nothing but respond with a grunt and the other two were left with no choice but to think of the worst.

 

"Can't say I didn't expect that." Even though Luke never really joins Delirious and Ohm's other group for recording sessions, that didn't make him any less closer to them than they are because Luke hung out with Evan's group more often than not in real life. Luke was just as affected as everyone else were to say in the very least.

 

"How long have they been gone for?" Asked Ohm

 

"Evan's been gone for a week. His videos are all scheduled though he's gonna be alright for one more week or two"

 

"What about Mini?"

 

"Same as Bryce. He was last seen with Tyler, Lucas and John when he was reported missing."

 

The call went silent for a few minutes after that but the silence wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't the best type of silence either; tense seemed to describe the call perfectly. They were all deep in their thoughts and were trying to think of ways to help each other out and do something to try and find their friends so that-

 

Something clicked in Luke's mind.

 

"Wait," his voice cut through the silence like a sharp knife on a flimsy piece of paper, "Can we gather everyone to a call?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know where I'm going with this fic  
> I know it's crap lmao I dont know how to write tense scenes


	3. Before The Search (Part 2: Decisions)

"Hey guys," greeted Delirious receiving a chorus of "hey's" and grunts acknowledging the mysterious gamer, "So uh, Cartoonz asked me to gather everyone to a call today but he's not really here yet, I think he went to get his food or some shit."

Tyler sighed, "Has anyone gotten a word from the guys, at all?"

"Unfortunately not," Responded Brock, "It's been a week since all this stuff has happened. We need to do something."

"Which is exactly why I asked Del to gather everyone around today," Luke replied as he proceeded to sit down on his chair and pull up the Skype video call on his computer, "Sorry about me being late, my pizza arrived."

"Flavor?" Asked Anthony.

"Pepperoni with extra cheese."

"Good choice."

Brock chuckled, "Anyway, what were we up to?"

"Talking about looking for the guys," said Daithi who was surprisingly quiet during the start of the call.

"I think we should get in contact with the cops and tell them to send a search party out to look for the guys," Luke said bluntly.

Some of the guys were slightly taken aback upon hearing the North Carolanian's proposal.

"I... I second that, yeah," Brock agreed, "It's not like them to ignore us for days on end."

"But what if this is a bit of an overreaction?" Brian asked.

"I don't really give a shit," Luke sighed, "Bryce's subcribers are spamming my comments and we don't really have an answer for them."

"Bryce is missing too?" Daithi said in disbelief, "The fuck?"

"Yeah. For three days now, just like Mini," Replied Ohm in sad tone and upon the mention of Mini's name, Tyler just sighed, defeated.

 

It wasn't an unknown fact to the group that Ohm was definitely into Bryce judging by the way he acts around him and that Tyler was the slightest bit attracted to Craig. It was more often than not talked about in the group when the pairs weren't in the call and even Brock had made a half-serious, half-sarcastic remark about how 'painful' it is listening to all the flirting going on with no actions to back up words. 

 

"Sending out a search party sounds like a good idea," Delirious muttered and the rest of the guys couldn't help but feel even worse.

 

Ohm's insterest in Bryce and Tyler's attraction to the British man may have been obvious but ever since the first time Jon and Evan had met, they've been inseparable. During their recording sessions, Evan always called for Delirious first when he wanted to show off something cool and vice-versa. They were never aware how endearing they looked to the others but that was fine for the rest of the group; it was obvious that there was something going on between them.

And so the group decided to contact the police and told them to send a search party out in LA in hopes of finally getting in touch with their friends.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm taking the story a little bit slow but don't worry I'm doing it on purpose lmao. I just feel like the buildup is a little bit nice? 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter btw x I was a bit busy but I still wanted to post something despite that so yeah
> 
> But when we finally get into the actual plot itself it's gonna be gooooooooood i have so many plans for this book x
> 
> PS; I'm sorry if I don't include the others from the crew in the story, there's just too many of them to include so I'm only going to write about a selected few of them.


	4. A Month Later (Part 1: Conflict)

_29 Days, 6 Hours and 13 Minutes._

That is how long Evan, Bryce and Craig had been gone for.

_24 Days, 9 Hours and 55 Minutes_

That is how long ago they decided to contact the police in hopes of them bringing some light to their disappearance, but as days pass by the light dims more and more and the group of people that were once filled with hope were now walking blindly with uncertainty. 

As much as everyone hated to even think about it, they all knew that this would just end up as one of those mysterious cold cases that no one will ever figure out. After all, it's been a whole fucking month and the search party has found nothing, not a single clue or a lead.

If none of the cops could find their friends then what was left for them to do now?

The group wasn't feeling as reassured as they were when they first contacted the search party in fact, they've been worse as the time went on. Delirious was constantly anxious and even jumpy as Luke had observed, Ohm was dull and unenthusiastic about everything especially when recording with Cartoonz and Delirious and the two could only assume it was because they were missing the cheery voice in the call. Tyler was just... angry, to say in the very least.

Tyler's never had a short fuse before but recently, the smallest things became his trigger and everyone has noticed, even his fans who were quick to dismiss his rage.

"Tyler, we know you're not feeling alright," Moo spoke to Wildcat one night a few hours after a chaotic recording session, which left Nogla, Delirious and himself pissed off to the point where the three left the call enraged and the rest of their friends dumbfounded, staring at their computer screens as they wondered what the fuck just happened.

"I will be when you tell Nogla to get the fuck out of my business," responded a very aggravated Wildcat.

"He was just defending Delirious-"

Tyler huffed, "And now you're defending them."

"I'm not defending anyone because you were both being dicks to each other."

"Nogla started it!"

"Tyler, we're not in third grade anymore," Moo sighed. Now he understood why he was called the mom friend, if it was anyone else in their group who had to deal with a stubborn Tyler, it would drive them insane. They were lucky that Brock was a patient and tactful man, however, Brock liked to think so otherwise.

"I don't care," Tyler growled, "I'm not apologizing to anyone."

"We're all stuck in the same boat here Tyler," Brock started, "We're all having a tough time, especially you and Delirious and I understand that, but that doesn't mean you can just take it out on him,"

Tyler only grunted in response.

"Take tomorrow off and rest up, I know you haven't been sleeping much."

"Alright," Tyler frowned, "Sorry Brock."

"I'm not the one who needs to hear that but it's okay," Moo laughed, "We love you, Tyler."

Tyler only laughed it off and said his goodbyes to the other man.

 

...

 

Tyler woke up the next day feeling much more refreshed than he had in the last couple of weeks. He glanced over at his clock which read **'2:30 PM'** and the rested feeling in his body finally made sense to him. _'Was I really that tired?'_ he thought to himself as he poured coffee onto his cup.

He sat down on his couch with his dog Kino and turned the TV on just to fill silence in his household. It's been a while since he last used this area of his house and he figured that he really needed to have some time away from the computer every once in a while, because even though making videos is a fun, well-paying job to have, he had to admit that the countless hours sitting in front of his computer, just editing videos and playing games non-stop took a toll on his physical and mental health.

Brock was right, he needed to have a break and more importantly, he needed to think about what he had to say to both Jonathan and Nogla.   
He inwardly cringed as events from the previous night replayed over and over again in his mind.

 

 

_"WEh-wha da fukin FUCK YOU BITCH," Laughter erupted from the group as Nogla sputtered out gibberish when Marcel randomly noob-tubed and somehow got Daithi's prop._

_"Great footage for Nogla!" Basically said in between laughs._

_The group soon recovered and went back to their mantra of dirty jokes and lowkey-rage. Everything seemed fine and calm until Delirious killed Tyler's prop for the third time that he's been the hunter._

_Delirious laughed loudly, "That was such a stupid spot," he chuckled but he stopped when Tyler only sighed in response._

_"Can you try not fucking shooting me so early in the round? Like honestly you're not the only fucking guy who has videos to make," Tyler snapped and the rest of them were stunned into silence._

_Well, except for Nogla who obviously didn't pick up on the genuine tone that Tyler's voice held._

_"Wildcat's mad, Wildcat's mad," he chanted and this was the last straw for Wildcat._

_"Can you shut the fuck up Nogla? You're honestly so fucking annoying," Tyler paused, "and you too Delirious, you're obnoxious as fuck now that Evan's not here. Are you that glad he's gone?"_

_"Um..." Delirious stuttered. For the first time in his life, he felt threatened by Tyler's presence, "What the fuck?" he mumbled._

_"What's gotten your panties in a twist?" Nogla spoke with his usual thick Irish accent, "Like honestly, stop fuckin' lashing out on us if you wanna stay in this fuckin' group."_

_"Who says that it's your call?"_

_"It's not just one person's call and I can definitely say for sure that people will side with me on this," Daithi raised his voice, "Ever since Mini's disappeared you've been an asshole to us. Makes me wish you two traded," the Irishman spat venomous words out like venom and this only fueled Tyler's rage._

_"Fuck you."_

**_I_AM_WILDCAT disconnected_ **

 

 

 

He frowned sadly, Daithi's words hurt. He knew that the Irishman meant it to a degree but never in his life did he want to hear words like that come out of his friends mouth, but Nogla wasn't the only one who fucked up and he knew that; now that he thought about it, he hasn't been the friendliest to everyone lately and his actions were unexcusable.

 _'I'm gonna have to say sorry to everyone later.'_ Guilt and shame washed over him as he thought about his actions.

He fished his phone out of his hoodie pocket and pulled up Delirious' and Nogla's contacts.

 _"text me when ur free, i wanna talk to u,"_ he sent each text separately and he leaned on his couch, staring up at his ceiling.

 

...

 

"Hey Ohm, it's time for some k-anal," Cartoonz cheered and Ohm laughed lightly.

"Time to eat ass."

"God if I had to take a shot everytime you talked about ass, I'd fucking get alcohol poisoning," Luke chuckled as he tried to pick out his defending operator, "who should I pick?"

 

"Get Doc maybe? You haven't played him in a while," Ohm responded as he confirmed his loadout for Kapkan.

"Good call."

The round that they played went by smoothly with a few bumps along the way like it usually was when they played ranked matches in Rainbow Six. Once the two gamers got the clips that they both wanted, they stopped playing but stayed on the call just to hang out with each other.

"Did Moo tell you about the fight?" Ohm asked all of a sudden and Luke hummed in response.

"Yeah, the one between Nogla and Wildcat?"

"Did he go into detail about that?"

"Nope, just briefed me about it," Cartoonz sighed, "No one's really felt alright ever since the guys disappeared," he mumbled.

Ohm could only let out a bitter laugh and though the two men were still in the call, no more words were exchanged after that.

Luke frowned, _'I'm sorry, Ryan.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more of a filler chapter tbh im sorry


	5. A Month Later (Part 2: Going Somewhere)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's risk in everything you do, so don't fool yourself into thinking there isn't, because you don't have a goddamn clue.

"Hey," Tyler muttered quietly on the phone, "How are you?"

"Fine," Delirious responded with tension apparent in his voice and Tyler couldn't help but feel even worse, he couldn't believe that he lashed out at this poor man knowing fully well how he felt, knowing that they were both in the same situation.

Wildcat cleared his throat before he started, "I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't mean what I said last night."

"It's fine-"

"No it's not. What I did was not necessary at all," he sighed, "I know what you're feeling, I really do."

Delirious laughed but it wasn't a genuine type or laughter and the other man could tell, "No, you really don't. You haven't lost someone... important to you."

Tyler has never confirmed to the group that he was attracted to Mini despite their relentless questions and suspicions. Tyler knew he was in a constant cycle of denial and unmistakable jealousy and it was unhealthy for him, like that one time Mini left a recording session abruptly because Sami wanted to hang out with him and Tyler spent literal weeks dwelling on the events and hating the fact that Mini never did anything like that for him.

Tyler's never considered telling anyone because Mini was interested in Sami for fucks sake and he couldn't... he couldn't ruin that for him, and he definitely couldn't ruin their friendship.

But things change.

"I've been in love with Mini for a long time," He cringed as he said it. Admitting it out loud really did make it feel more real.

"Wait. What?"

"What, you guys had suspicions didn't you? Why are you so surprised?"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think that you'd ever say it out loud."

Tyler inwardly agreed with him, he didn't think so either. "Well things change."

Jonathan hummed, "I forgive you."

"Y-you don't have to, I was being a dick and-"

"You were under stress and I know you Tyler, you... you don't really have a lot of ways to cope. So it's fine, just don't let it happen again, yeah?"

To say that Tyler was thankful for the masked man was an understatement. He knew that Jonathan was a patient person but never did he expect the man to understand let alone accept his excuses.

After Tyler's apology was accepted, the two stayed in the call for two more hours before hanging up. Neither of them expected to get along with each other as much as they had at the current moment and that made them question why they never had a one-on-one talk before.

Delirious ended up having to leave because he was running late to a recording session with Cartoonz and Ohm but Tyler was happy with letting the man spend time with his other friends, after all, he had someone else to tend to.

_'I hope Nogla doesn't stay mad at me...'_

 

...

 

"Delirious you're late," Cartoonz pointed out as soon as the he joined the call and Jonathan muttered out a quick apology.

"Sorry, Wildcat called."

"What did he want?" Cartoonz's voice audibly tensed upon the mention of Tyler's name. He was aware of what went down just the night before and he would've sent the man an angry message or two if it weren't for Ohm and Delirious holding him back.

"He just apologized. Then we talked for like, two more hours."

"I'm assuming there were no fights after that?" Ohm, out of nowhere suddenly spoke up.

Jonathan agreed and the other two inwardly sighed in relief. 

"Well that's a good thing. Game time?" Ohm asked.

"Fuck yes."

 

Hours and hours of Dead by Daylight were played and they certainly felt like this was the most fun that they've had in over a month and they couldn't be more thankful for it. Foul language and yelling permeated the air but to the three, it's the most peaceful and laid back that they've been in a while. 

Ryan smiled for the first time in weeks, even with his screen showing that he's been downed by the killer. 

but we all know the saying 'all good things come to an end'

As the recording session ended, the call ended not too long after, leaving the masked gamer alone with his thoughts without boisterous laughter or obnoxious cussing interrupting his train of thought.

He glanced at the clock by his bedside table and saw that it was half an hour past 4, _'I need to rest,'_  he thought to himself as he lied down on his bed.

As he closed his eyes, peacefulness enveloped him and though he knew it was probably supposed to comfort him and rid him of this thoughts, the unsettling serenity left him anxious as he tried to fall asleep. It was too quiet, even when he put rock music on the background.

Was this what they called the calm before the storm?

 

...

 

"Hey Tyler! This is Jaclyn," the feminine voice from the other side greeted Tyler.

"Oh hey, how are you?" Tyler greeted, slightly taken aback that it was Jaclyn who picked up the phone.

"I'm doing great, how are you?"

He rolled his eyes, "Same as usual. Is Nogla around?"

"Oh he's in the kitchen, give me a sec, I'll call him over." Jaclyn's footsteps could be heard fading away into the distance and this bought Tyler time to think about what he was going to say to the most-likely-still-angry-Irishman.

A few seconds later, he was shaken off his thoughts when a familiar deep voice came from the speaker of his phone.

"Whaddya want?" okay Tyler was wrong, Nogla didn't sound angry, just... cold.

Tyler stuttered in response, "I uh, just wanted to say sorry."

Nogla sighed and Tyler frowned even more. Did he really fuck up that much?

"I'm the one who's meant to say sorry," Nogla chuckled, "I don't want you to swap with Mini, nor would I wish that upon anyone else. It was just a spur of the moment type of thing and I acted like a douchebag."

"Like I was any better," Tyler muttered.

"Did you talk to Delirious yet?"

"Yeah I did."

"Good. If he's forgiven you then how could I not," a smile crept it's way up into both of their faces, "Oh speak of the devil, Jon is on, wanna play some fortnite?" 

"Sure, just let me get on my computer first, see ya," said Tyler as he hung up.

Wildcat quickly sat down and started up his computer, clearly eager to play the game. Once he logged in, he waited for the other two to call him on discord and whilst he was patiently sitting in front of his computer about ready to start recording, he checked twitter and his notifications were flooded with people asking for Evan and Mini.

He frowned, waiting around is starting to piss him off, the cops are clearly never going to find anything so what's the point in waiting?

Or so, that's what he thought.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when a discord group call popped up on his screen. He decided to answer the call.

"Oh uh, Hey guys," Brock's voice greeted the call from the other end.

"Hey what's up," Tyler monotonous voice greeted back.

"Search party found a lead and they now have a clue as to where they are," Brock said and some of the people in the group were stunned into silence whilst about 5 of them spoke over each other at the same time.

"Wait what?"

"Where the fuck are they?"

"Who has them?"

Questions were being thrown to Brock left and right and they all felt overwhelmed by the news.

"Guys shut the fuck up, let the man speak," Cartoonz butted in and Tyler thanked the gods above for his presence for a split second.

"Thanks, uh, anyway. They called Evan's phone number and got professionals to track down where the call was received and the call was traced back far, far away from the scene of the crime."

"What about Bryce and Mini?" Ohm asked and Brock sighed.

"Same method, same places."

"What the fuck? Where are they?" Cartoonz scratched his head in frustration.

Brock swallowed down the lump forming in his throat, "That brings us to the next problem, they're in the Red Forest, or the Mother's Dwelling as they call it; it's a strictly banned forest that even the head of the Department is certain they can't get permission to go there."

"So what the hell do we do? Just sit here by ourselves and do nothing about it?" Tyler argued and Brock clicked his tongue.

"Yes, unless you want spend the rest of your life in jail," Brock sighed, "We lost three already, we don't wanna lose anyone else."

The group quietened down and agreed with Brock. They all knew he had a point and that it was the right thing to do. Going out there would be risky and potentially life threatening so it was definitely out of the question.

Well, except for four of them who were willing to risk everything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can tell i gave up on this chapter  
> ugh god this is just so shit im sorry you had to read this.
> 
> I got a crime thriller type of fic out called 'The Hidden Agenda' and it's based off a game. it's way better than this one so check it out :P
> 
> ps; This isn't a dead by daylight au in disguise. i just used the name of the map because as i said, i gave up.  
> ALSO IM SO HYPED FOR THE NEW DLC FUUUUUUUUUUUU-


	6. The First Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ohm has a really, really good dream. Like bruh it’s so smutty I can’t.

As soon as the call ended, Delirious groaned in irritation and decided to grab something to drink. Brock's decisions worried him and even though he knew that the man cared just as much as he did, he couldn't help but question his relationship with his so-called friends.

Realistically, it would be stupid of him to go but what's the point of sitting around doing nothing? Wouldn't it be a heavier load knowing that you have opportunities to save someone yet you're not going for it?

Delirious let out a deep breath and set his cup down on the table. The entire situation with their friends missing was taking its toll on him, everyone has noticed that he wasn't as cheery anymore and has now reverted back to doing single-player content. It's exhausting being with the group and trying to have fun with them knowing fully well someone else is meant to be there laughing along.

It wasn't just about Vanoss, he was good friends with Mini and Bryce too. Craig and himself used to be much closer back in the early days of their group and even helped him recover from his internal crisis' multiple times, sure they eventually drifted apart because they came across new people and decided to do different things but that didn't mean Jonathan cared less than he did before.

Bryce has always been that one optimistic person in his life that influenced him to think about better things and see the world in a different, better light. They weren't the closest but Bryce has guided him to the right path multiple times like that one time he had a massive fight with Luke and when he was having personal issues.

He knew he sucked at showing affection towards his friends and maintaining serious conversations but he wished he tried for them. He had so many things he wanted to say but he never took the chances he's had.

Jonathan retreated back to his living room and decided to wrap himself up in his warm, fuzzy blankets. He could feel the slight burn in his eyes as he fought the tears which threatened to spill down his face; he tried to blink them away but the tears just kept coming and soon enough, he was sobbing quietly on his blankets.

He missed them so much and it sucked that he couldn't do anything about it, that he didn't have a choice.

He wasn't sure how long he curled himself up into a ball for or how long he was in Luke's arms, crying like there was no tomorrow but he didn't care. He needed to let his emotions out of his system or else it would've ruined him.

"You'll be alright Jon," Luke muttered as he gently rubbed Jonathan's back, feeling bad for the younger man.

After Jon could no longer produce anymore tears, constant sniffing filled the thick silence which hung in the air and Luke just eyed Delirious, giving him a sad look. Stubble was growing on his face and his hair was a bit too messy to be presentable. It was obvious that he couldn't care less about taking care of himself and this worried Luke.

"Is this about what Brock said?" He asked carefully and Jonathan shrugged.

"A bit of everything, I guess."

Luke frowned, Brock's decisions were harsh but he completely understood. Nobody wanted to make rash decisions and definitely didn't want to put anyone else in danger whilst at it. He sighed, he hated having to do something with his instincts telling him to do so otherwise.

"I understand, Ryan's been really down after that too."

"Is he alright?" Delirious asked, alarm apparent in his tone but he calmed down when Cartoonz nodded.

"I called him because I knew he didn't feel fine, then he fell asleep crying on the phone."

Delirious frowned, "Are you sure you don't want to call him right now?"

"He needs to rest, he hasn't been getting much sleep," As if on cue, Luke yawned as soon as he finished talking, "And I know none of us have been resting."

Delirious couldn't help but agree. Ever since their friends went missing, there's been a constant pit of anxiety on his stomach and it made it hard for him to sleep peacefully so a lot of late nights were spent making way too many videos than he knew what to do with.

"How are you?" Jonathan asked hesitantly and Luke sighed in response.

"Fine," he answered with a strain in his voice. He knew that Jonathan didn't buy it judging by the knowing look he's giving him, "Seriously, I'll be alright."

"It's about Ryan, isn't it?" As soon as Cartoonz looked away with a sad look on his face, Jonathan frowned. He looked like a kicked puppy and he could only imagine that it felt like it too.

"He'll realize soon," He tried to cheer up Luke but he knew he couldn't do anything about it.

He knew exactly how much it sucked realizing your feelings for someone as soon as you see them liking someone else.

 

 

 

* * *

 

~~(WARNING: Graphic and Violent scenes start here. If you get triggered by blood and torture in any way at all, skip this part.)~~

 

 

 

 

_The smell of blood and smoke was thick in the air as he tried to struggle against the straitjacket._

_Screams of terror echoed in the room and he couldn't help but let out a whimper of fear as the sound of zapping electricity and a very familiar sounding voice letting out an ear-splitting scream rang in his ears._

_"PLEASE STOP!" the person begged as they let out a broken cry. He knew that voice all too well._

_He could feel tears involuntarily roll down his cheeks as he watched the scene with wide eyes. He could feel the vomit rising up his throat._

_"FUCK!" a pained scream came out of another guy as he held his palm over his right eye. There was blood all over his face mixed with tears coming from his other working eye and saliva hanging from his mouth as he was panting for breath._

_He looked away from the sight._  
_Burning. He smelled burning skin._

_He looked to his left and saw another person, beaten up, bruised black and blue. He was lying on the cold stained tiles breathless, lips parted and eyes wide open but... he barely looked alive. He wasn't looking at anything._

_He got kicked in the stomach and he merely gasped in response._

_The man in the jacket looked down at his feet, breathing heavily._

_'No, no no no this can't be happening'_

_He looked up and saw another person. He looked fine and this gave him some hope that maybe they're gonna get out of this alive._

_All hope was stripped away from him when a figure clad in black approached the man bound to the chair._

_He let out a scream that soon died down to distressed cries._

_The figure clad in black approached the man in a straitjacket._

_"You see this?" a feminine voice asked him as she held up a fingernail which undoubtedly came from the man she just approached, "I'll remove more and more from him every time you look away from suffering," her sickly sweet voice warned and he couldn't help but nod in fear as every single eye in the room was trained on him._

_He didn't know how long it was until the woman left them to fend for themselves, but he didn't dare look away after that._

 

 

 

 

~~(Graphic scenes are over. It's now safe to proceed.)~~

 

* * *

 

Ryan gasped for breath and shot out of bed as soon as he woke up, running for the toilet then quickly hunching over it as he threw up the contents of his stomach. Horror ran through his veins and shock shook him up so much that he couldn't think straight. Questions filled his mind.

Who were those people? Who was terrorizing them?

Whose eyes was he seeing those horrifying visions from?

As soon as Ryan's mouth stopped spewing out contents, he quickly washed his mouth then went to lay back down on his bed, thinking about how real everything from that dream felt.

The smell of blood wasn't present in his house but nonetheless, it hung around and he couldn't help but think that he was going crazy. The terror that ran through him felt overwhelming and the urge to break free and save whoever those people were coursed through him. He felt like he was actually there, vulnerable and helpless against the woman who held them captive. The screams sounded real and the panic which rose in his chest felt suffocating.

Whatever that dream, or rather, a nightmare was, he didn't want to experience it again in a million years nor does he wish it upon his worst enemy.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to suggest things to add to the fic, please comment down below and I'll try to get back to y'all as soon as I can 
> 
> Thank you for stopping by and reading!
> 
> \- Zee


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